Woody Allen

Heywood Allen (born Allan Stewart Konigsberg; November 30, 1935) is an American filmmaker, actor, and comedian whose career spans more than six decades.Wikipedia

Quotes by Woody Allen

I'm not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.

Woody Allen

Seventy percent of success in life is showing up.

Woody Allen

Eighty percent of success is showing up.

Woody Allen

I don't believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.

Woody Allen

I don't know the question, but sex is definitely the answer.

Woody Allen

Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.

Woody Allen

The difference between sex and love is that sex relieves tension and love causes it.

Woody Allen

To you, I'm an atheist.To God, I'm the loyal opposition.

Woody Allen

If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.

Woody Allen

God is silent. Now if only man would shut up.

Woody Allen

To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering one must not love. But then one suffers from not loving. Therefore, to love is to suffer; not to love is to suffer; to suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love. To be happy, then, is to suffer, but suffering makes one unhappy. Therefore, to be happy one must love or love to suffer or suffer from too much happiness.

Woody Allen

I just can't listen to any more Wagner, you know...I'm starting to get the urge to conquer Poland.

Woody Allen

If it turns out that there is a God...the worst that you can say about him is that basically he's an underachiever.

Woody Allen

If you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're not doing anything very innovative.

Woody Allen