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George Carlin

George Denis Patrick Carlin (May 12, 1937 – June 22, 2008) was an American stand-up comedian, actor, author, and social critic.Wikipedia

Quotes by George Carlin

The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept.

George Carlin

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The planet is fine. The people are fucked.

George Carlin

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Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.

George Carlin

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Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.

George Carlin

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Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

George Carlin

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That's why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it.

George Carlin

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There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls.

George Carlin

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Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

George Carlin

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The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.

George Carlin

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If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

George Carlin

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